Attentional Control to Self Awareness, to Self Compassion, to Other Compassion

I wrote a note to a mom this morning about her 10 yr old son who ended up in tears during a task today. Great family with wonderful children. Yet, he ended up in tears, overwhelmed by his own thoughts (ANTs - automatic negative thoughts). He quietly kept clapping and trying to hide his emotion, hoping no one would notice the tears, but internally he was beating himself up, feeling HORRIBLE. Here's the post I wrote to this mom. I thought it was worth sharing with others.

"I didn't know I could be this happy!"

Words from one of my students today - "I didn't know I could be this happy!"

ANTs - Automatic Negative Thoughts

During IM training, I use the term ANTs alot. Automatic Negative Thoughts - ANTs. I borrowed the concept from Dr. Daniel Amen's book, Making a Good Brain Great. As many as 75% of the individuals I see, both children and adults, have atleast one day of some ANTs.

A neuro-typical 12 yr old male - what does 'typical' look like?

One of the greatest blessings of my career in IM is the wide variety of individuals that I have an opportunity to see. People do not need to go to the doctor, have a diagnosis, or even struggle to go through IM with me. As a result, I see many neuro-typical (NT) people, both children and adults, and of all ages.

What do I mean by neuro-typical (NT)? I mean average, typical, having no neuro-developmental delays/disorders, no diagnosis ... just solid, healthy, typically functioning people. Most of the NT individuals that I see are family members of a child I saw for developmental delays. NT students move differently than the children with neuro-developmental delays. This video of one NT student I trained shows typical movement patterns.

20 Milleseconds - Can your child score this low?

Dan Feldman, from the UC Berkley,  recently discovered that rats brains synchronize for optimal learning at about 20 milliseconds.  Early in my IM career, I discovered that when students work the ms average down to about 20 milliseconds (ms), magic occurs.  Not real magic of course, just mental processing becomes extremely efficient, high quality, in the elite range on the IM charts and most of all, it feels great! People love to get into the teens in IM.

Why do some children blame?

"Sensory integration and sensory processing problems distort perceptions."" Pg 247 of Patricia Stacey's book, the boy who loved windows. Read more on the previous posts.

I agree. Sensory processing issues including timing issues often correlate with altered perceptions. Many children with poor timing tend to blame, a form of denying ownership. Post IM I almost always hear of some gain in the child's ability to take ownership. "He said he was sorry." "She said it was her fault, etc." In my experience, there seems to be a direct connection between timing and ownership. These children actually experience the world so differently, perceive so differently, that their reality is distorted. You and I may be able to clearly see the connections; they cannot. In truth, we all perceive the world differently, because all of our sensory systems are different. But with poor timing, this can become problematic.

In house, a common timing issue that a child might have is to clap consistently about 100 ms too soon. He will even tell me with wholehearted sincerity, "I think the computer is wrong. I am clapping right on the beat and it says I'm too fast." He blames the computer for his error. He perceives the world his way! Even adults will tell me this in house. --It's one of the behaviors I find comical. I tell them to remember what that feels like, because in just a couple of days, they won't think the computer is wrong any longer. But, at first--in the reality they live in at that time--the computer is wrong!

Imagine a child with impulse to be early (a timing issue) on the baseball field. He's poised and ready to hit the ball. He's impulsive by nature and his swing is 100 milliseconds (ms) too fast. He wouldn't swing too fast if he believed the swing was going to be 'too fast'. He swings too fast because that's where he believes the ball actually will be at that moment in time. Typically, children do try to hit the ball!

This is how his day may go: The boy swings at the ball. The ball goes foul. The coach says, 'slow down'. Now remember, the boy's perception of time is skewed so when he "slows down", he would have to aim "too late" in his mind to hit the ball. Even when consciously slowing down, he's probably going to swing too fast. If he is able to reject his own perception and slow down, he will have no idea when in that late area he should hit the ball, after all, in his perception the ball is already past him. It will be a shot in the dark for him. Next time he's up to bat, he swings too fast again.

The coach, with a little frustration now, says, "Slow down!" Because the coach's timing is fairly accurate, he perceives real time better. The boy, also flustered from trying his hardest and still failing, responds "It's not me. It's those kids yelling over there." In the boy's perception, he's already tried slowing down, but that didn't work; that wasn't the answer. --What else could it be? He chooses something that makes sense to him. In his past, distractions have caused problems. It makes sense. He doesn't take ownership of his own actions, because his perception is different from yours and mine. He sees the world differently. We often say these children march to their own drumbeat. And they do! Sensory processing issues as well as poor timing can cause altered perception.

FAQ: What do the IM Millisecond (ms) Scores Mean?

IM tasks are measured in average milliseconds away from the beat. A student is asked to move their body to a slow rhythmic beat, usually 54 beats per minute. The computer measures exactly when the student actually makes the move compared to when their ears actually heard the target sound. The difference is measured in milliseconds - 1000 ms per second - and displayed on the computer. Averaging all the hits together will give a ms average for that task. Generally I have discovered that with different averages, students display different emotions and thoughts. Here's a picture of what I see in terms of IM performance:

100 ms or larger - Students often loose the beat and can not figure out how to get back into the rhythm. They often require what's called hand over hand help. The IM provider will help them find the beat.

60 ms - 100 ms - Student begins to be able to do task independently, but when they lose the beat they may require help to refind it. 60 ms can be quite frustrating for some. 60 ms is right in the middle of the average range for adults who are not IM trained so it is very common..... but when you are actually scoring a 60 ms, you feel 'off'. The computer gives you such direct, quality feedback, that you can definitely see 60 ms is not 'on the beat.' But... because gains are often made fairly quickly from when the individual becomes independent to 30 ms, students often feel a great sense of accomplishment during this part of training.

30 ms - Student are now just beginning to feel some confidence that they can do it. Plateaus frequently happen here. The younger child, under 9 years or so, may end here, though some young students are able to make it into the 20's or even teens.

20 ms - Here is when a student begins to have internal confidence. They trust in their ability to be successful and this often generalizes into the world outside of IM. IM become self rewarding, external motivators are no longer needed. My goal is to get as many tasks as possible under the 20 ms mark. When a student reaches 20 ms, they often experience a huge amount of functional gains.

15 ms - Students that score here enter an almost meditative state, extreme focus in a relaxed, yet highly motivated mental state. You simply can not reach this level with out three key factors - focus, motivation, and relaxation. You are 'in the zone' so to speak. There is a major difference between 15ms and 25ms though it's only 1/100th of a second difference. Those who have gone from 25ms down to 15ms definitely express that the peaceful, relaxed, focused state of 15ms is worth the effort! 15 ms is FUN!