Thomas (name changed) had his first big ANTs today… his own thoughts yelling at him that he did not do well enough during an IM task. Thomas found himself in unwanted tears. This, in essence, demonstrated weakness in his self-compassion. He had tried his hardest. He hadn't given up – he kept going and fighting, yet he hadn't reached the goal he had set for himself. But he had DONE HIS BEST! No doubt in my mind about that! I wasn't upset with his effort, or his lack of performance, just the opposite really, I was proud of him for fighting the fight, putting in the effort and pushing through a tough task! He showed strength and courage. The length of the task, the stage of mental training he was at, the level of distractions, were all players in the prospect of meeting his goal. Thomas would never have yelled at someone else for trying their hardest, but he allowed his own thoughts to yell at himself. Some day when he's not firing ANTs, he will share about how the ANTs today short circuited his brain and didn't allow for his success. There is a progression of the gains in this area. It usually goes like this:
1. Attentional Control - The ability to control where you place your attention and keep it there, and return to that focus quickly if distracted. This is the number one reason people sign up for IM training. I can measure attention easily in IM! Some students begin IM with focus lengths as small as a few seconds. Gains in attention are made every day that the child is engaged. BUT life changing skill in attentional control does not come right away. You have to work to become skilled in attention. The more training, the more skill you gain -attentional control on a continuum. I consider the child to have a minimum level of 'skill' in CONTROLLING their attention when the child is down under 18 ms
for 3 or more days in a row on tasks over 1000 reps (18 minutes). Up to that point, they are learning attentional control, but have not mastered it. It is not a subconscious part of them yet, but is still a conscious effort-full task. After you reach the elite range, under 18 ms, solidly, then attentional control can become subconscious and effort-less. Thomas is not there yet. You may read other posts about this elite level, but in general, when you reach this level of attentional control, you begin to gain
very quickly in many areas of life, self awareness being just one of them. Yes, I see gains
before this elite range, but not as many, and definitely not as profound. Solid performance
in the elite range of IM is my goal for 'basic' IM. Never before this point is attention 'easy'. Attentional control is a skill that you learn, the ability to focus, stay focused and return to the focus if distracted without much effort, a natural state of being for you!
2. Self-awareness Self awareness includes meta-cognition - the ability to know and share what your brain is thinking and how those thoughts and feelings impact your performance. There’s some self-awareness
before this elite range in IM is reached and some students have better self awareness than others, but, for everyone, adults, children, professionals and lay people, reaching the elite range in IM greatly improves your own personal self awareness. Self-awareness develops with much more clarity here. You are now able to be conscious of your own mental processing. You are 'thinking about your own thoughts'. Before you reach this elite stage, your brain performs as individual sections doing their own individual job. It is more chaotic/dis-coherent/out of sync. In the elite range, brain wave patterns become very synchronous and the individual parts of the brain begin to communicate with one another in a harmonious pattern, a very coherent pattern. It is now working like an orchestra following a single conductor rather than 50 instrumentalist all left to follow their own beat. Until you have attentional control, many individuals simply don’t
have the connections necessary to be very self aware.
3. Self-Compassion – Self compassion is the ability to love yourself unconditionally, accept yourself as the fabulous creation that you are! Self compassion does not come until you have self awareness. You don't actually know who you are until you are self aware! Thomas this morning lacked self compassion. He had done his best, yet he beat himself up anyway. He lacked self awareness enough to understand that concept and accept his best as his best. There was a reason he performed as he did and it was not 'lack of effort.' As your timing improves, you begin to focus on and understand the connection between internal and external distractions on your performance. You begin to see those connections better, and apply them to your self analysis. Doing the advanced tasks in IM often brings
more self-awareness, and more self-compassion as you repeatedly approach challenging
activities, experience doubt and/or confidence and then experience gaining or losing of ground in relation to your mental processes. There is a STRONG connection to how you feel and how your brain works (performance). You can see your state of being in the numbers on that screen. You experience forward movement and backward movement daily! Students with little self-awareness
often perceive themselves as more of a ‘victim of circumstances,’ it was just 'luck', or they 'blame' others. They don’t see themselves as in control, or even
playing a role in the outcomes in their life. They don’t connect actions with consequences
well. With more experience with various tasks within that elite range of IM, you SEE clearly how your thoughts and feelings DO
play a role. THEN you develop SELF compassion. True, intense self-compassion comes AFTER self-awareness,
not before. You can learn to be kind to yourself, a learned skill, before self-compassion but it’s not as
deep of a mental process. Kindness is a skill, compassion in a subconscious process of acceptance.
4. Other-compassion – After self-compassion,
other-compassion develops more easily and grows. When you, at an experiential level, understand more deeply how you feel and
why, then you can begin to understand how others feel and why, how their brains are working
and thinking. You have a more difficult time understanding others before you understand yourself. Yes, there are parenting techniques and skills training that are helpful in developing compassion and kindness, obviously, but through IM training I often see in depth subconscious and natural flowing other compassion coming on line for the first time as connections in the brain are formed. IM impacts the maturing of the brain for clearer understanding of these subtle yet life impacting processes. I see this progression of skills all the time! That’s why I am such an
advocate for a well timed advanced training in IM. There is a sequence to these brain changes. One builds
on the other. In Basic IM, my number one goal is attentional control! Attentional control, the first step to compassionate living.
Hope that is helpful.
