But, I think people have something to learn from his meltdown. And I believe, if he could stop this behavior, he would do it in a heart beat. He doesn't want to act this way! He is experiencing great difficulty being able to shift gears. I think consistent calm parenting can be helpful for this type of meltdown, but I think the behavior is for the most part brain based and needs intervention. Young people that behave like this can often lead a typical life with help, but they don't just 'grow out of it.' The brain needs 'fixed'. This young lad is in extreme anguish. He is so uncomfortable in his own skin that hitting himself feels better than dealing with the pain caused by having to think differently. He can not shift to the idea that he can live with out this video game, definitely not teenage behavior. His brain as it relates to cognitive flexibility is still functioning at the preschool level. IM can help with this. My heart breaks for him, but it is worth sharing for the sake of helping others understand life doesn't have to be this way. Here's the you tube video of a brain based meltdown.
PS - Some one commented that this has to be fake. If it is, it looks an awful like what I've seen from many children who have extreme difficulty shifting gears. My heart goes out to this lad, and I wish him the very best. I thank him that maybe his pain can help someone else receive the help they so desperately need. It's worth noting that he also stripped - many of these kids have sensory issues, and when in great stress, even the feel of clothes can be overwhelming to them. It's also worth noting that even this boy's brother doesn't have empathy for him, doesn't realize the pain he's in. The boys response to the 'yell' and one movement he made during the meltdown also brings concern for him to me. Not only do many children with neuro-developmental issues struggle with the brain based challenge, they also have to deal with a world that doesn't understand them. My all time pet peeve is keeping children with attention challenges in for recess -in essence punishing them for having a disability.
Having said all this, I also do believe that this type of a child needs to have consistent strong boundaries. If the parent deems it important to take away a video game, that needs to happen, with or with out a melt down. The meltdown should not cause the parent to change their mind. Fear of meltdowns should also not dictate to the parent what choices they make. Giving in during a meltdown, or choosing to allow an obvious negative influence/behavior to continue for fear of a meltdown gives the child and the behavior too much power. This will indeed cause even more challenges for the child later. In conclusion, I think empathy in understanding that the shift of focus for that child is very difficult is also a necessary awareness to have. Understanding helps the parents remain calm and consistent, to not take the melt down personally. It's not you as a person that is causing the meltdown, it's the inability for the child to change his mind, shift gears, to your frame of mind - a brain function.
